jenntierney

Right now, while writing this, I'm listening to the most beautiful song I've ever heard. Which made me realize that this is what I want. I want to write beautiful songs, and I want people to listen to them. Lately nothing has even come close to inspiring me to write anything. But Aaron and I have decided we're going to start a band, just a little acoustic project. We need a name though. I've been spending a lot of time with him lately. In Providence all the time. I like it, it's better than how my life used to be. Honestly, in the past month my life has basically gone down hill. And now I'm finally picking it back up. I'm actually genuinely happy again. It's wonderful what a few new people in my life can do. Honestly, if it wasn't for those few people I wouldn't be happy. If it wasn't for me actually doing something about being miserable and unmotivated I wouldn't be as happy as I am right now. This vacation was simply nothing less than amazing. Spending 90% of it in Providence with people I love made it so good. I'm so happy with the way my life is right now. I hope this lasts a long time.

Love, me

sooooooooooo much. btw this is her :)

so everything's getting better, and who's to say being happy was so hard?

fast. I keep putting myself in these situations, and I keep getting my hopes up only to be let down. I'm done being mentally fucked by everyone. I just want an honest and real relationship, not based on anything but trust and kindness. I mean come on, just for once can't just ONE guy tell me the truth? I'm sick of feeling so numb all the time. And I'm so sick of feeling like I only exist to exist. I'm buying a keyboard, and I'm writing songs, and I'm looking forward to this, music makes me feel good, so why not do what makes me happy? Even if no one listens to me or no one even cares, it makes me happy.
This is all for now I guess.
I'm making myself a better person and i know it's for the best

i guess self destruction's the only way to get over someone, like fully over. i'm still not over you. you know it, so do i. i don't care anymore. but i still think about you, and miss you of course. it's getting easier though. the pains gone, now all i need are the thoughts to leave my head. ugh. i didn't think it would be this hard, i mean it's not like i loved you. and it's not like you were telling me the truth when you said you love me. but i still miss you. so much. and the more i think about it the more mad i get, at you, at her, at myself. i mean this is my fault, eh? so i'm changing, hopefully with this change, you'll disappear from my mind, along with all the bad thoughts and negative feelings. i'm just glad you're happy. even if it isn't with me. and even if i never did make you happy, i had fun while it lasted. and sorry for ripping up your shirt.

So I haven't updated in a while, clearly. life's been so good lately. I've finally got a boyfriend who I can actually count on, and I've got Robby and Will, sometimes I honestly think they're all I need. There's no drama with them. I'm me around them, it's amazing what to best friends and an amazingly wonderful boyfriend can do for me. Today was finals, I really think I did so good on my English final, yesterday I had to write a five paragraph essay and it was probably the best essay I've ever written. And today we finished with 32 questions about what we've learned all semester and two open response questions, I don't think I answered those correctly though because I don't think they were supposed to be opinionated, but Mr.Walton knows I always give my opinion so I'm really hoping he'll give me a good grade. I have Science and Green House finals tomorrow, I know I'm gonna suck at both. After the English final today Mr.Amaral pulled me in his room and told me that I'm on his roster for next semester because I didn't pass his class last year. Next semester I'm really hoping I can pull it together because I'm taking real classes, no electives, I have Bio, Discovering Geometry, World History 2 and Ceramics, hopefully. I really want to graduate with my class, and I'm really hoping if I pass all of my classes with at least b's that I'll be able to take credit recovery over the summer and maybe retake all of the classes I failed this and last year. I want to be a junior next year, I really need to be too. Apparently if I do some program called Bridge then I can be a sophmore next semester and a junior next year. I'm so hoping! I need this so bad! and I'm sure Brendon will keep me in track with all of my school work since he actually cares about it. So lifes good, it's going to get a little tough but I'll manage. I need a job too, I'm gonna go hunting this weekend with Will. Tomorrow after school me and Robby are having a Rocky Horror marathon and I'm so excited. I love going to his house and watching movies. Love xoxoxo

always always always always always always
sad        sad       sad        sad      sad       sad

syawla syawla syawla syawla syawla syawla  
das          das        das        das        das       das


hey, look it's my creative side. ; )


i need medication. i need no more crying i need happy.
good morning sunshine the earth says hello.


private now, add if you wanna dig into my brain and read my late night/early morning ramblings.



.